


worn paper

by Oparu



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, dark outlaw queen and dragon queen, fairy tale chaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 04:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13733307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oparu/pseuds/Oparu
Summary: Both Reginas wake up in the wrong realm when one of them has a dilemma she can't face. Working together with Ursula and Henry, Robin and Maleficent help each Regina find their way home to the person they love. Dragon Queen and Dark Outlaw Queen. Mentions of past Outlaw Queen.





	worn paper

**Author's Note:**

> for the wonderful and talented gray-autumn-sky, so sorry it took so long.

The rain drums on the street, falling from the buildings and the trees, heavy and cold. Regina steps back, retreating towards the diner, following her family. Mal smiles at her, rain falling into her hair, running over her face. "If you are willing, Regina, I am."

"What?" She stares, heart skipping, pattering like the rain.

"I won't ask you again. I don't think I have the strength, but, if you're willing, I would like to marry you."

There is no thunder. No lightning. No burst of power, or energy. The world doesn't end. The rain falls harder, making Mal's hair stick to her forehead and Regina has to blink her eyes dry.

That's useless though. How does she find words for this? How does she explain that she can't be anything to Maleficent, even though she loves her. That her love is cursed. That Robin died, and Daniel died, and kissing her, loving her, is wrong. It's wrong for Mal, no matter how much she wishes otherwise. Mal will die.

Like everyone else.

"I'm a death sentence."

"I'm immortal, dear." Mal touches her chin, then brushes her tear from her cheek.

"Just come with me, come in." They don't have to talk about it, they don't have to be anything, or mean anything to each other. She tugs her close, kissing her in the rain. Mal's lips are warm beneath the rain, and her skin brushes against Regina's, warm, always warm.

This can be it. They can never bring it up again and just exist, have each other in limbo. Daniel was pure, golden and bright, and Robin was passionate, verdant, and green like his forest. This is gray.

Quiet.

Still.

But her heart denies that, rushing in her ears, pounding as if it could dash itself against the pavement like the rain.

She can walk from this moment, let it fade. Take the gray, and the quiet, accept that she's not meant to be in love. Not meant to have anyone. Not destined for love.

She deserves that. Loneliness, misery, and the empty bed. She deserves all of that pain.

* * *

 

She nuzzles into Robin's chest, inhaling just after he does, letting his chest expand against hers. His stubble tickles her cheek. His fingers trail over her stomach, warm and rough. Regina takes another breath.

This is a dream.

When she opens her eyes, he will be gone. If she breathes too quickly, too deep, it'll shatter into her own quiet bed.

Clinging to him, to the moment, to this life that she hasn't earned, doesn't deserve, is the height of foolishness.

And yet.

He shifts in bed, kisses the back of her neck, then mumbles.

"What happened to your hair?"

Regina rolls over, looking at him. Falling into herself, not out of a dream. The sheets are wrong somehow, too rough, and the bed smells of straw and feathers.

This is not her mattress, or her bed, or her home.

"Robin--" she murmurs, reaching for him in a panic.

"You're not her."

He startles back, reaching for her face before pulling back. "Where's Regina?"

"I am--"

"You're the other one, the one from the town."

She pulls her knees up to her chest, but she's naked.

Of course.

Blushing even though he’s seen her naked, over and over, she tugs the sheet up to her chest. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you here?"

"I don't know. I don't know what happened."

"Where's Regina, is she--"

"Probably in my bed." She sighs, biting her lip before she looks at him. "Where does she keep her magic? I can probably figure something out."

"In the other room." He stands, tugging on his trousers, sparing her from having to get up. "I'll find you clothes."

"Robin, I'm sorry."

He shrugs, then turns, smiling gently. "It's not your fault. I know you'd rather be home, with your son."

Henry.

He'll be safe if the other her is there, he's in Storybrooke, he's looked after, but why is she here? Why are they separated?

* * *

 

Company in the middle of the night isn't unheard of, but it's been many years since this particular company appeared in her bedroom, and certainly not quite this irate. Regina's voice drags her out of sleep.

"What has happened to me?"

"Hello Regina," she says into her hand. The fire in Regina's hand is the only light in the room. Sitting up, she tugs her hair back and stares, blinking into the light. "Why have you changed your hair?"

"I haven't." The fire ball in her hand grows, threatening the room before Regina calms herself. "I'm not meant to be here, wearing this ridiculous outfit. I'm supposed to be in my castle, with Robin."

"With Robin?" Mal raises her eyebrows, then touches the middle of her forehead. "That explains your hair. You're the other Regina."

"Or she is. She's the one sleeping alone with her book."

"There's no need to be petty."

"Apparently she has no idea of her own needs."

Regina throws the fireball into the little fireplace and calms. "Why do you sleep here while she sleeps alone?"

"Because our relationship is not like that now."

"That seems like a waste." Regina tugs at her sleeves, staring at the pyjamas that don't belong to her. "Robin and I, we've wasted no time."

"Then he is braver than I," Mal says, shaking her head as she pulls her robe on over her nightgown.

"You always did take your time."

"Things are different here."

"I have to admit, when I woke up in her bed, I expected you to be there."

Chuckling, Mal reaches out her hand, wrapping Regina's fingers in hers. "It's complicated, dear, but it will give us something to discuss while we find out how to send you home."

Rolling her eyes, Regina reaches up and stares at her, stroking her cheek. "Is she still not over Robin?"

"How could she get over Robin?" It's not the time to talk about it, even think about it, but this is Regina, and she loves her. "He's her soulmate."

"Do you really think if that was so untouchable that her Robin could die? That some underworld idiot with delusions of godhood could destroy him?" Regina rolls her eyes, wrapping her arms over her chest. "If soulmates was a perfect concept, she wouldn't have lost him, he'd be here and you could be torturing yourself over the fact that you're in love with her too."

Regina leaned closer and touched her chin, tilting her eyes up from the floor. Staring at her stung, as it always did. Even if this wasn't her Regina, her heart didn't care. "She and I will not live for thousands of years. If you're not careful, you'll lose her."

* * *

 

"Ursula, I--"

"Am very grateful that I'm here to help, I'm sure," She rolled her head on her neck, then put her hands on her hips. "What exactly do you think you did?"

"I switched places with myself."

Robin stares at Ursula's tentacles like he wishes the bow was in his hand. For the hope of getting his Regina back, he's civil, but a sea witch is not the kind of guest he'd prefer. "The other Regina, the one who belongs here, with me, is in Storybrooke, and we can't reach her."

"Can you reach anyone in Storybrooke?"

Regina shakes her head. The corset cuts into her ribs. She should have worn something else. All her clothing here is so tight, and she's already on edge. "I tried for Henry, Emma, Mal--"

"The dragon never picks up. Are you sure she's awake?" Ursula's tone bites a little.

"Yes, she's awake."

"Then something's blocking you from your home, I imagine it's similar in the other direction."

"Fine, what could do that?"

Ursula sighs, losing all of her swagger. "I have no idea."

"You said she could help us!" Robin says, pacing like a caged beast. "You invited her here so she could help."

"And she did."

"Don't get snippy with me, lumberjack."

"Why don't you just scuttle on out of here?"

"Scuttle?"

"You'd prefer to slither?"

Regina digs her fingers into her forehead, fighting the headache that she's had all morning. Something blocking the realms, sealing them off from each other. Something that displaced them. Something--

Maybe the corset is too tight, because she's dizzy. Her heart races again, pounding like it did outside of Granny's. Her head's too hot, it's too hot in here.

"Hey," Robin says, his voice as soft as her knees. "What's wrong?"

"She did it," Ursula answers for him. She rests her hands on Regina's shoulders, guides her to a chair.

"What?"

"Regina has a lot of magic for a human, and if there are two of her, that's quite a lot of power, stretch it across realms, especially one as thin as Storybrooke."

"Thin?"

"Storybrooke was made from a curse and then cursed so many times that it's as thin as a tuna scale, and just as fragile."

Robin presses a wooden cup of water into her hand. "So what's happening back home? What's wrong?"

Ursula drags herself over a chair with one tentacle and sits, hands on Regina's lap. "Is it a certain dragon with a distinct inability to follow her heart?"

"I--"

"I thought so."

"Regina," Robin begins, sinking down in front of her. "Whatever's bothering you, you can tell us."

"You _need_ to tell us because I can't mend realms, just portal through them."

"She--"

* * *

 

"You proposed?" Regina tilts back her head, sighs toward the heavens, then laughs. "You would, wouldn't you?"

"I- well- I--"

"You can just say you love her."

"I do, I have."

"And--"

"I thought she might be more comfortable if we were married, it it felt more formal."

Regina rests her hand on her stomach, all formal in one of the other Regina's pantsuits. She could be her, but her posture is wrong, and her hair falls heavy down her back. Mal forgets how long it can be, how dark. It reminds her of the old world, when things were easier.

"You want a mate."

"Is that so bad?"

"No, no." Regina grabs her shoulders, smiling. "Want, love, seek what makes you happy, make the other me live her life." She strokes Mal's cheek and then winks at her, slowly, the way she always does. "She wants to be loved, I know her heart. I share it."

Holding Regina's arms, Mal wants to believe her, to lose herself in hope and foolish thoughts of love.

Regina breaks their gaze, glancing down, pulling her hand away to rest it on her heart.

"What is it?"

"Something's wrong."

"Regina?"

"No, not me." She shifts, wincing a little, and the hands on Mal's shoulders hang onto her for balance. "It's her."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Her chest is tight." Regina looks past her, staring at the window.

"Take a breath."

"It's not me!" she takes a step back, trying to compose herself, but she wavers and Mal holds her tighter and then her heads on her chest. "I don't know why she fights this."

Mal strokes her hair, waiting, confused and overwhelmed and it's Regina. Of course she loves this one just as much as the one who is meant to be here. "It's all right."

"No, it's not, she's not, whatever this is, whatever's happening, it aches."

"I never meant--"

"Of course not, foolish dragon." Regina lifts her head enough to kiss her cheek. "I think it's something she has to work through, perhaps we both do. I doubted Robin, doubted myself, but I am the more impetuous half. I threw myself in. Perhaps she can't."

"Or won't." Mal holds her cheek, losing herself in those too-dark eyes. "She might not love me."

"I love you," Regina says so easily. She kisses Mal's cheek and drops her head again. "That's how much she loves you, I can feel it. It's not that. Never doubt that."

"Then marriage?"

"No, no, she-" Regina stops, wincing again. "She doesn't think she deserves it, I didn't, but I'm the bad half. The selfish part."

Holding her close, Mal runs her fingers through Regina's hair, letting them slip all the way though. "Maybe she needs more of you."

"I think that might be the answer." Sighing again, she squeezes a little closer. "Perhaps Robin will help her see that."

Henry lets himself in without knocking, or preamble. He's his mother's son that way. "I found it, one of the books from the Sorcerer's mansion talks about the Dark Curse and how it teras at the pages of the world, kind of like erasing too much, or getting the paper wet, once it's been cast, it's never the same."

"How does that help?"

"Mom?" He's too observant not to notice that Regina's dependent on Mal for balance. "You okay?"

"The switch tugs at me, and her, maybe her even more. We're in the wrong place, somehow and," she pauses, smiling for him, "I'm fine."

"It's making her dizzy," Mal corrects, earning a glare from Regina.

"I think I can get you back. If you go where the town is the most worn, where the curse was the strongest, I think you can cross back if you and my mother mom do the same thing."

"Do we have to sacrifice something?"

"No." He pulls a wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket. "It says an act clear of purpose can cleanse the wrinkle, or stain, Belle said the translations a little strange."

"No killing anything, that's a relief."

Toying with her fingers, Regina smiles wickedly. "It's a little boring. What's an act clear of purpose?"

"Something direct. The story Belle found used a kiss."

* * *

 

Ursula finishes her third glass of wine and sets it down on the heavy wooden table. "So either you go where you cast the curse, where the worlds are most worn, and you kiss Robin, the other you kisses Maleficent, and you switch back, or maybe you have to sleep there for a week under the moon. The folktales aren't usually clear on that part."

"You were thinking about love last night. Berating yourself, I imagine." He rests hand on her shoulder, warm and familiar, but not. He's not her Robin. He's a friend. A brother in a strange way. No less kind than her Robin, but not hers.

She shuts her eyes, wishing her heart would still. When she opens them again, Ursula's waiting, filling her glass again. "You know us."

"I know you're even harder on yourself than my Regina is."

"So you go to the weak point, and you think about how you don't deserve Maleficent, and she can think about how she doesn't deserve Robin..." Ursula trails off, then drinks. "It'll be perfect."

"Don't you think it's a kiss? Stories are always a kiss." Robin grabs his own cup and lifts it to Ursula.

"I thought you weren't true love."

"Those aren't the only kisses that matter."

Regina winds her hand into the fabric of her skirt, tightening her grip until her fingers ache. "It can't be that easy."

"You switched over in your sleep!" Ursula waves a tentacle towards the bed for emphasis. "You're two versions of the same person, split like a starfish. I think the rules of magic and the realms are already a little bent for you."

"Or broken."

Ursula rolls her eyes and nods, as if Robin's the only one who understands her. "Henry's right, we try at midnight, there's the most magic then."

"And you think it'll just work?"

"You woke up here for a reason, you've been in a panic all day because your scaley girlfriend wants to marry you and I imagine, it's so strong the other you can feel it."

"She looked pale," Robin adds, rubbing Regina's shoulder again. "I know it's hard for you. It was hard for her, but we're happy. Being married has been wonderful for us."

"For all of a month."

He glares at Ursula, who shrugs, grinning. "Maybe you just need to stop worrying so much and embrace love, get laid, get married if that's what you want."

"What I want-"

"Is tugging at you so strongly that you can't even sleep without reordering the realms and dragging your other self out of bed."

Robin leans against the table, arms folded over his chest. "Would it really be so bad to be happy? I haven't met the dragon, but my Regina speaks very well of her. She knows the time you had together, and I imagine if things were reversed, she could be happy with her."

He even seems a little amused by that, and his grin is something the other her would appreciate more.

"My Robin was my soulmate."

"And he'd want you to be happy, not tearing yourself to pieces internally because you loved something not sanctioned by magic or the fates or whatever cruel hand shaped your last tragic destiny."

"Here, here!" Robin lifts his glass and clunks it against Ursula's. "Speaking for my other self, if I were to die and leave my Regina alone, I'd rather she found love again, with someone who treated her well, whom she could love in return, than pine for me for all of eternity."

"Exactly."

"What have you lost?" Regina demands, staring at Ursula, who seems so sure she knows everything. "How would you know?"

"Mermaids thrive on emotions, we manipulate them, conjure them, and I didn't lose that power just because I traded my fin in for something more useful." Ursula's tentacle snags the wine from the side table and she fills all of their glasses, even Regina's. "You're in love."

"I never said I wasn't."

"Then be in love, Regina. Be stupid and sappy and get married."

That pain rushes back, tight and hot right in the middle of her chest. Regina rests her hand on her stomach, trying to catch her breath, slow the racing of her heart.

Robin touches her shoulder, then rubs the back of her neck. "My Regina told me she was sick of destiny and fairy stories. She wanted me, so she took me."

"Now that sounds like the Regina I knew."

He leans down and whispers. "Just be happy. Don't fight it like you did me, let yourself love her."

Fear, hot and desperate, rushes up in her stomach and it's like she'll throw up. Then, impossibly, she can smell Maleficent: that hint of woodsmoke and stone. Regina shuts her eyes, clinging to that, and she's there, in her living room, resting on Mal's chest.

Then she's back, in the castle that's not hers, half in Robin's arms.

"That's it!" Ursula says, offering her water, not wine. "You were half-gone already."

"I could feel her."

"And I felt my Regina." Robin smiles with such affection that she shivers. To be loved like that is more than she deserves.

But she _wants_ to be loved, and love back, headless and unapologetic, like the other her does.  She wants to go home, to Henry and Mal.

She wants her. She shouldn't, she doesn't deserve any of it, but perhaps.

Just this once, that's all right.

That doesn't matter.

She could be selfish in this.

She could _have_.

* * *

 

"Here," Mal says, wrapping her arm around Regina's shoulders and pulling her close. "You're shivering."

"It's her," Regina protests, but snuggles in anyway. "She's nervous, or cold."

"If you can feel her, then we must be close." Henry turns off his flashlight, staring up at the stars. "The town line's right there, and this is where we were standing when you stopped Pan's curse I think that makes this a weak spot."

Regina nods, wrapping her arms over her chest. Her chin trembles and her teeth click together. "I can feel her."

"Is she not dressed?" Mal wonders aloud. "What's wrong?"

"Coming back means facing you, dear." Regina turns, cuddling into her as if they belonged together. "She's not ready."

Henry pulls the mirror from his pocket and stares at it, waiting for a sign. Ursula and the other Regina, Mal's Regina, could contact them if they needed too. If not, they just need to wait. Midnight is midnight in both realms and the moon hands high and full. Magic waits in the air, just beneath the surface, like embers waiting for breath.

"She needs to be ready." He paces, then opens his book again. "You both have to be united in thought."

"Clear of purpose," Regina repeats, leaning in. "Maybe it's raining, she's freezing."

Mal strokes her hair again, then removes her coat. Draping it over Regina's shoulders, she kisses her forehead. "It was raining when I asked her."

"The no wonder she's cold. Her cowardly heart's racing away in her chest and she can barely breathe because of it."

"Don't be mean to Mom," Henry says, pausing his steps. "She's trying."

"I buried Robin too," Regina mutters into Mal's chest, but she stops, warming. "I can feel Robin."

"Oh?"

"He's here, there." She shuts her eyes, and her sigh's almost dreamy. "I can smell the forest."

Mal chuckles, kissing her forehead. "You'll be home soon."

"I'm glad I got to see you." She reaches out for Henry, letting go of Mal. "And you, Henry."

He hugs her tight and she has to stand on her toes to kiss his forehead. "It's good to know you're happy, Mom."

"She'll be happy too," Regina promises. "I know it."

"She just needs a little more of you."

"I've always thought I was the better half." She holds his face, then nods. "Call me."

"I will."

"And write."

"I always do."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

That moment is more important than curses or being in the wrong place, or even getting Regina home. This is her son. He's everything.

Regina squeezes his hand, then turns to Maleficent. "Well then, I suppose it's time." She studies her face for a second, then leans in. "Robin and I were thinking about love," she whispers. "Maybe when she gets back, you can get her to relax a little. Sleep naked. Sleep in..."

She lifts Maleficent's chin, and kisses her, warm and wanting and hungry. It's far too playful, too intimate to simply be goodbye, but that's how Regina is. How she's chosen to make herself this time.

The kiss depends, grows warm and sweet, and then shifts, melts, and this is her Regina. Her mouth moves against Mal's surprised and unsure.

Unsteady.

"Regina?"

"Robin kissed my forehead," she mutters, leaning into Mal to take a breath. "Of course she'd--"

"Mom?"

"Henry!"

And then he's there too, wrapped up in her and Mal and they're a mess of arms and whispered thanks.

She's home.

That's what matters.

Mal touches Regina's hair, caresses how short it is against her neck. This one is hers.

She wraps Henry tight in her arms and hugs him, thanking him, reminding him how wise and dedicated he is. She can leave them, go home, let Regina go back to her life and her son.

There's no need to trouble her with love.

Mal turns, walking down the dark road towards the town. She could use magic, but it's late, her chest aches and if she walks, she'll have time to let go of the tears she's been holding back.

The trees can watch her cry.

"Mal--" Regina catches her hand, pulling her back. "Mal, I--"

"I'm glad you're home."

"Don't be noble." Regina grabs her, tugging, making her still.

"Regina, it's fine."

"No, it's not fine. It's not all right. I- I let you think I didn't want to marry you."

"You don't have to." Mal looks at Henry, meeting his eyes. He nods, is that acceptance? Is it a blessing?

"I don't have to." Regina releases Henry and grabs Mal's arms with both hands. "I don't have to marry you. I want to."

Henry smirks and looks down. He's a good son. 

"I want to marry you, and wake up next to you, and spend the rest of my life with you. I want that so badly that I can apparently displace myself across realms out of fear of it, of us, of being happy, but I- I want you. I didn't say yes before, so let me say it now." Reaching for Mal's chin, she smiles with tears on her cheek. "I am willing, eager, to marry you."

The moon pours light over the three of them, standing on the road. Mal nods, fighting the lump in her throat and Henry joins them in another messy hug.

There are no tales of the queen who found herself again, of how she loved her son and found the strength to love again. No sparkling dust blesses this union.

This is selfish, full of wanting.

This is love. Not true or destined, but enough for a beginning.


End file.
